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Ecc 3:1

If life is measured by heartbeats, how many of mine have been invested wisely or lovingly, and how many more do I have to share with those dearest to me?

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I started to consolidate my letters to my children in a blog sometime back in 2013 – this here, is the new and improved version.

Once, I was a person who didn’t fear death for that meant “returning home” to me. It was my children who made me rethink my position and now it’s “I don’t have the luxury to die anymore.” And truthfully, I don’t anymore. I want to live as long as I can, to make my everyday count for something, because of the great way my heart has expanded since the babies came along.

Now I’m just all too aware of the brevity of life but I confess that I still struggle to make the most of everyday. Knowing there is much love to share, many memories to make, and so little time to do them all sadly doesn’t make me any wiser at how best to live.

What I do know is this: Right now is precious time for us to be born, to heal and to build, to weep and to laugh, to find peace and to love.

It is my time to make peace, to reconcile, to be surprised, to go on adventures, to write and to make art, to laugh and to be merry, to wear my heart on my sleeves and to put it “on the line”,  to embrace and to tickle my children everyday, to feed them popcorn and ice-cream and show them miracles, to make love to my husband and to teach him to dance in the rain, to live in God’s grace, to be grateful for my blessings, and to make at least some dreams come true.

Because, really, in the blink of an eye and the beat of a heart, this time too shall pass away.

Perhaps someday, this will be the legacy I leave behind for our children. In the hope that they may know their mother was once young and fun-loving too, who dared to love and who shared something special with their daddy… and most importantly, that they are valued and cherished every baby step of the way.

For now, it’s simply a way for me to thank God for every single moment of my life.

MMJ

 

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