My mum and dad at 18, when they fell in love,
A friend I had for very brief time, before she died when we were 15,
The boy who stole my heart,
My cousins back in the days when we romped and somehow grew up, at our bak kwa shop,
Twinkle, Twinkie, Chocolate, Princess, Ash & Lemon, Orange & Ginger, Miao Miao, and all the other cats I fed, loved, and lost,
The only stranger I had ever kissed,
Jesus when He walked on this earth,
My dad the night I told him, “Yes, you are dying.”
Matthew, the moment he turned to look at me, see me and know me, on the second day we met,
My mentor from church, on the day he stopped me in my tracks and changed my life forever,
My college friends back when we were all slightly less grown up, and a whole lot more simpler,
Myself, before I was born,
Jane Eyre, just to say to her, “You’re not alone.”
The somebody that Depeche Mode sang about,
My husband, when we eventually get to “the new world somewhere, they call the Promised Land”.
There was a girl I once knew, somebody I cared about deeply but whom I left behind at 18. Her heart was always in the right place and she always did her best to share the love with those she knew. She was honest. But she was also always filled with confusions and doubts; she had a deep sorrow for all the wrongs in the world and a sadness for all the losses she knew she could potentially face someday. Heartbreak was something she knew well because she invested her heart often.
To that girl, I wish to say:
Fear not, tread freely, love bravely, hope ceaselessly… because the best is yet to be.
One day, you will meet a fine young man who will quickly become the light of your life, a feistier version of yourself you will be so proud of… and of course, the man in your life who gave you those two babies.
The heartache you feel is for the pieces of you that you haven’t found yet. But you will. Walk in trust, and know that every one of your heartbeat will be worth it.
Till we reach the final chapter of our story,
till the time I get to meet all of you again, someday somewhere they call the Promised Land,
we keep the faith and in God, we entrust our hopes and fears alike.